5 Tips to Prioritize Self Care During the Holidays
This time of year is filled with so much joy and magic, but it can also be stressful for people who are trying to better their health. Maybe this time of year makes you feel anxious about slipping into old habits, or worried that you’ll lose control around triggering foods. Perhaps you’re struggling to tow the line between enjoying yourself and overdoing it, or back-tracking on all the progress you’ve made.
Whatever your worries may be, I want to offer you a bit of perspective. The below guidelines are designed to help you find balance, see the bigger picture and avoid the need for a “reset” on January 1st.
Let me paint a picture…
It’s December 1st. You set a goal to eat clean, exercise and avoid sweets until Christmas Eve, because you want to “make room” for all those extra treats. Then, the office holiday party rolls around. You didn’t plan for this, and you find it really hard to avoid all the delicious cookies. So, you finally give in and have a cookie, but now you can’t help but feel like you want to eat the whole box. You’re also dreading the fact that you’ll have to “get back on the wagon” tomorrow.
Next thing you know, you’ve eaten way too many cookies. You feel physically uncomfortable, and the guilty thoughts start to creep in.
“Why did I do that?”
“What’s wrong with me?”
“I have no self control…”
You feel discouraged and frustrated with yourself, so you decide to give up on your wellness routine altogether. “I’m already here,” you say, “so I might as well keep going. I’ll worry about being healthy on January 1st.”
…Does this sound familiar?
It’s a vicious cycle. Trying your hardest to follow the “perfect” diet, feeling deprived, over-indulging, sulking in guilt, then punishing yourself by getting “back on the wagon” - the same wagon that caused you to over indulge in the first place.
But here’s what I say to all my clients, and what I want you to know…
The problem isn’t that you lack control around food… it’s that you have too much control around food.
I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but stay with me here. We all know that eating too many indulgent foods is not beneficial to our health. However, the reality is that depriving yourself of indulgent foods isn’t the answer, either. As humans, the minute we feel deprived of something, we inherently want it more - it’s part of our psychology - and when you finally give into the desire, you over-consume out of scarcity because you think it’s “now or never.”
The only way out of this vicious cycle is through a lifestyle of Food Freedom: which means you allow space for all food and live in alignment with your intuitive hunger cues. With Food Freedom, you never have to worry about overconsumption because your needs and wants are being met. Therefore, you never have to “start over” or get back on the wagon. You learn to nourish your body from a place of love, not punishment.
I’m going to show you how to get here, but first, let’s talk about what not to do…
5 common mistakes that lead to over indulging during the holidays (and how to avoid them):
Labeling foods “good” or “bad”
We’ve all been taught that certain foods are “good” and certain foods are “bad.” But the truth is, no food is good or bad… food is just food. This language was born out of culture, because the diet industry wants to make you feel bad for eating certain foods. If you tell yourself that french fries are “bad,” or that it’s a “cheat meal,” you’ll always feel a sense of guilt and shame when eating them. The truth is, french fries (or pizza, or sweets, or whatever foods you love most) can absolutely be included in a healthy lifestyle. These foods are not bad, and you are not bad for eating them.
Solution: Practice using neutral language when it comes to food. For example, instead of “bad” or “unhealthy” try describing it as: nutritious, sweet, fried, processed, heavy. Avoid language that is rooted in the good/bad narrative: ie “cheating” vs. “eating clean”, “I was so bad today,” “I was good this week.”
Labeling foods “off limits”:
Basic human nature shows that the minute something is deemed “off limits," our desire for it grows (also known as the Forbidden Fruit Theory). This is why diets don’t work long-term; swearing off sweets only makes us want them more. Then, when you finally “allow” yourself to have sweets, you have an urge to over consume because you know you won’t be able to have it when you go back to your restrictive diet.
Solution: Unless you have an allergy or food sensitivity, no food should be “off limits” (yes, that’s true even for indulgent foods). Learn to bring more neutrality to the way you eat and allow yourself to enjoy all foods on any day of the week. If you want cake on a Tuesday, eat cake on a Tuesday. You don’t need to wait until the weekend when you’re “allowed” to eat it - this mindset sets you up for over indulgence. As you make space for all foods and bring more neutrality to your diet, you’ll no longer feel the need to overdo it on weekends, holidays, vacations etc.
Exercising to Earn or Burn Calories
Similar to the good/bad food narrative, we’ve all been conditioned to believe that exercise is about burning or earning calories. Unfortunately, this mindset creates a disordered relationship with food and exercise. Let go of exercising to “burn off” cupcakes or “earn” the right to have cupcakes later. Move your body because it’s good for you and you enjoy it - that’s it.
The “All or Nothing” mindset.
Are you guilty of eating 100% “clean” Mon-Thurs and then totally letting go Friday-Sunday? Or, have you ever told yourself that a 10 minute walk isn’t worth your time? You’re either sweating profusely at the gym, or you’re not moving at all? This is known as the “all or nothing” mindset, and it’s one of the most common reasons people can’t stick to a healthy routine. The “all or nothing” mindset is rooted in perfectionism (i.e. if I can’t do it perfectly, it’s not worth doing). The truth is, striving for perfection keeps you stuck: you take 5 steps forward and 5 steps back, instead of making 1 small step forward everyday.
Solution: Embrace the 1% improvement every day - this is what creates real change. Learn to do what you can with what you have, instead of needing your environment to be perfect to make progress. Don’t let 1 indulgent meal determine your whole day or week. Instead, treat each meal as a fresh start.
Food Guilt & Punishment
If you take one thing away from this post, let it be this: Food guilt does not serve you. Even if you don’t listen to anything else in this post and completely over do it this Christmas, ruminating in guilt is not the answer. Guilt is a heavy emotion: subconsciously, you’ll feel the need to punish yourself to make up for your “bad” behaviors. On the other hand, if you have compassion for yourself, you’ll boost confidence and be able to see the bigger picture. You’ll see that nourishment and self care is always available to you, and you’ll be able to bounce back quickly.
Self Care & the Holidays: 5 tips to prioritize wellness this year
Now that we’ve covered all the pitfalls to avoid this season, let’s talk about how to prioritize self care.
Listen to your hunger:
The best way to ensure that you enjoy yourself without over-doing it is to simply follow your body’s natural hunger cues! Listen to what your body is asking for, eat when you’re hungry, and stop when you’re full. You can get back in touch with your hunger by practicing mindful eating techniques: chewing slowly and thoroughly, savoring the textures & flavors of your food, eating without distraction, and eating in a calm environment.
Find micro moments of self care:
No matter how hard you try, the holidays are going to throw you off of your regular routine, so learn to be okay with whatever micro moments of self care you can squeeze in. A 10 minute walk, a quick yoga sesh, a little meditation in the shower. Embracing small acts of self love will make the world of a difference in how you feel - and therefore - the choices you make.
Focus on what you can add to your routine, not what you need to take away
Routinely ask yourself, “what can I add to feel more nourished?” For example: You can add more water to stay hydrated, add some greens to round out your plate, add some fruit to your waffles to give you energy, add yoga after lunch to aid digestion. This line of thinking is so much more empowering than focusing on all the things you can’t or shouldn’t have.
Get the family involved:
This season is about spending cherished time with loved ones, so why not get encourage them to feel good, too? Invite your sibling to do a quick workout with you, or take a walk around the block with your cousins and look at Christmas lights. Bring your loved ones along for the ride.
Remember the bigger picture:
You know that a healthy lifestyle isn’t built in days, weeks or even a month… so remember that 1 day, week, or month of over-indulging doesn’t create an unhealthy lifestyle. What matters most is how you live your life on a regular basis. If you want to improve your health, start by making small, incremental changes day over day. You have the power to make choices in alignment with your health at any given moment, not just on Mondays or on January 1st. Let go of perfectionism, do what you can with what you have, and remember that it’s a gift to be able to celebrate with loved ones.
Wishing you a happy & healthy holiday season,
-Alex
